If you feel as though you are always making other people happy but not focusing on yourself then this will work against you. You may find that over time you end up burning yourself out and that you find it difficult to focus on what matters to you. If you want to do something about this then you need to start putting yourself first. This can be difficult in the early stages, but over time, it will become second nature.
Fall in Love with your Favorites
Do you find that you are still ordering pizza with mushrooms because that’s what your partner likes? Maybe you avoid watching a certain TV show because you have internalized the opinion of someone else about it. Either way now is the time for you to start making decisions for yourself again. Take the time to think about what you like to do, and what brings joy to your life. If you can do this then you will soon find that it is easier for you to focus on yourself once more. What movies, activities or books do you love? What do you look forward to doing at the end of the day? If you can take into account things like this when making decisions then you are bound to get more enjoyment out of each day.
School Yourself
If you have the inspiration, time and even discipline to enroll in a class that reflects your interests then this is great. If you don’t then there are a lot of learning opportunities out there for you to take advantage of. You may even find that it is the best way for you to find a new passion as well. Read some books, or even pick up a new hobby. Learning new things is a fantastic way for you to boost your brain capacity. Mastering a new skill can help you to build your confidence and it is a great way for you to show yourself more respect.
Confront your Fears
If you don’t feel as though you are as adventurous as you once were, or if you feel as though you are lacking a sense of independence then this is understandable. After all, things have changed a lot over the years. If you avoid new experiences out of fear then this can stunt the connection that you once had with yourself. Talk to a friend about the way that you feel, and take the time to try new things. Talking it through can dispel the fear that you have and it can also help you to gain some perspective on what the risks are to making a particular decision.
Go Outside
If you spend too much time in one place then this can cause a lot of anxiety. You don’t have to be an outdoorsy type to benefit from being out in the sun. If you can take the time to get out in nature then you may find that your stress levels lower and this can contribute to your emotional well-being. Experiment with just spending 15 minutes outside, and see if this makes you feel better about yourself. If it does then you may want to incorporate it into your schedule.
Write in a Journal
If you spend a long time focusing on the feelings of others then you may want to give yourself a little personal time. Journaling is the best way for you to gain a higher level of understanding in regard to what you are going through and it also helps you to process your feelings. Secondly, you can refer back to your journal entries over time. This is the best way for you to find out how far you have come and if the changes you have made have had any impact on your life.
Meditate
If you are new to the world of meditation then you should know that it isn’t a skill that you have to build on. It’s simply about sitting with your thoughts. The great thing about meditation is that you can do it anywhere, and in any way you choose. This practice is great as it improves your mental health and it may even help you to sleep better. You may find that you are kinder to those around you as you have clarity over your thoughts and feelings too, which is great.
Focus on Self-Care
Self-care is a universal term but when you look at it from your individual perspective, you may find that it holds a different meaning. Self-care to you may be sitting down with a hot cup of coffee on a Saturday morning. To someone else, it may mean going to the bar with a group of close friends. Either way, if you want to help yourself and if you want to feel your best then you need to start by taking steps today. This is the best way for you to ensure that you are focusing on what makes you feel good. If you are resorting to alcohol as a way to cope with your negative feelings then self-care could mean looking into Real Deal Sober Living.
Self-Compassion is Important
Self-compassion, believe it or not, is very different to self-care. Self-compassion involves speaking to yourself in the same way you would speak to a friend. If you talk about yourself negatively all the time or if you see everything you do as not being good enough then this will impact your self-confidence. You should not be punishing yourself for your mistakes, and you also need to understand that prioritising yourself is not selfish. Give yourself time and make sure that you have the space to figure out what you need without compromise.
Don’t Compare
You need to try and avoid the comparison trap if possible. A lot of people compare themselves from time to time. It may be that you feel jealous of a friend who always seems to be happy, or that you wish you were as smart as your partner. You can’t guarantee that if you had their life, that you’d be happy. Sure, sometimes comparing yourself to someone else can motivate you and this is great. You may want to work extra hours so you can afford a new car or so you can put down a deposit on a new house. That being said, the danger comes when you overshadow the values you have now.
Comparisons can become problematic if they are distracting you from what really matters. As an example, you may begin working toward something that you don’t even want, purely because you think that it is going to be the solution for your dissatisfaction. One way for you to make sure that this isn’t going to happen would be for you to look at the things you love. What brings you joy? What do you feel grateful for? What do you want more of?
So as you can see, it is easier than ever for you to make a positive change for yourself and if you follow this guide, you should find that you are able to feel happier and more content during the day. If you don’t know where to start then sit down and have a conversation with your partner about the positive changes you want to make so you can gain their support and feel happier in yourself overall. This can really work in your favour so be mindful of that.
